Voices in my Head

I read an interesting post on Shannon Hale's website this past week regarding the process of developing a story. She said that writers tend to either outline the plot and then develop their characters or a fully formed character tells their story during the writing process. So that got me thinking about how it works for me and I realized that the answer isn't so clear-cut. It depends on the story and the character. I came to love two of my characters from The Devil's Key so much, that I wanted to change the plot to suit them, and I did somewhat. However, in the sequel, I can't or it ruins the story line. So the plot where everything does not turn out happy in the end is definitely driving that one. We'll see if I ever get to write it.

Right now I'm developing the world that my characters live on for a new story I've started but can't seem to write about any more until I know what it's like there. I know the basic plot elements already and have a clear sense of the protagonist and what motivates and frightens him. But the other characters? The setting? They've been mere shadows on the fringe of my sub-conscious. But as I hear and see them more clearly in my head, I understand how everything fits together. I've even imagined an entire backstory, which I like better than anything else I've come up with so far.

I can't wait to write that one because Kali keeps whispering to me and it's very character-driven but still has a fantastic plot (at least, I think so). I know that hearing voices is generally NOT considered psychologically healthy. But maybe every writer has voices in their head. Jodie Foster in Nim's Island was hilarious and I totally related. I write what I dream, what I wish, and what terrifies me. To one degree or another, parts of myself are woven into whatever I write. I think that's why rejection can be so hard. Because if a writer can't separate out themselves from their writing, criticism feels terribly personal. Maybe bestselling authors don't have this problem, only emerging writers like me. So here's to the voices in my head. I hope they tell me a fantastic story that no reader, agent, or publisher can refuse.

My First Writing Conference

I am heading to my first writing conference next month and I'm so excited. And nervous. I've posted some of my writing online and been ripped apart over the relative anonymity of the Internet. Dealing with nastiness in private wasn't too hard. But memories of my one awful experience getting ripped in person is giving me the jitters. I HATE crying in public, and as I listened to the first person outside my circle of family and friends to read The Devil's Key (actually, she didn't read it, she told me she skimmed it because it didn't seem worth her time to read) tell me that I didn't know how to write, my characters were flat, and I should just concentrate on writing magazine articles, I bawled. So now I've voluntarily signed up for a personal critique session at this conference and I'm terrified of a reprise. But I know I need it, so I'll bring lots of tissues just in case. I'm hoping I'll learn a lot, make some new friends, and gain valuable feedback that I can work with as I revise and continue writing. My friend Kim is attending too, so it should be a lot of fun, even if I do have to take time out for a crying jag.

Full Mansucript Request

I planned to write so much this summer, but with the crazy schedule we've had over the past few months and all the kids home for summer break, it hasn't happened. I hadn't even finished the revisions I thought of during our move. So imagine my surprise when I returned from Nicole's wedding to find a message from an agent I queried back in May. Is the project still available? she asked. YES! I wanted to shout. Then she requested the full manuscript. After my little happy dance, I 'finished' (it's a relative term, remember?) my revisions at top speed and sent the manuscript to her. However, this time around, I'm not expecting anything. I love my story so well that I expected the first agent who read it to love it too. When she didn't, I was crushed. I don't know if I'm calloused now, or just professionally detached, because I'm not at all anxious or impatient. I know, pretty weird for me. If this new agent passes on it, I'll thank her and move on. I am pleased though. To me, it means my query letter worked. That's it. With a good query letter, I know I can move forward and keep querying until I find the right agent for this story. In the mean time, I have building permit documents to write, a manuscript to review, and a middle grade sci-fi/fantasy that is demanding attention. So between those things and getting four kids ready for school, I think I'll be pretty busy.

Becoming

I realized that I never mentioned what happened with the full manuscript that I sent Elana. Well, she passed on it. She was very nice, saying that she enjoyed reading it, but ultimately, didn't feel it was a right fit for her representation list. Sigh. At least she didn't simply say it stunk. Oh...wait...maybe that's what she really meant. But I don't think so. Most of the people I've 'met' either online or in person in the writing world are very, very, cool. With one glaring exception, everyone has been professional and supportive, yet honest. And with each new experience I'm learning how to look at my own work more objectively. Now I spot things that I don't think I could've seen before. So despite (or maybe because of) all the discouragement and frustration, I am becoming a better writer. Ah the process of becoming - so painful at times. So humbling. I just wish my learning curve from wherever I'm at to wherever I need to be was a bit shorter. But two days after getting that rejection, a different agent requested the first hundred pages, so that helped a bit. I just wish those pages were stronger. So that's what I'm working on now. Well, not right now, but in the near future.

I had to stop everything to read Stephenie Meyer's Breaking Dawn yesterday. Yep, I was a total bookworm. Jeff was very patient while I devoured all 700+ pages in twelve hours (I wish I could write as fast as I read). Needless to say, I loved it. She did a really good job twisting the story line around in unexpected ways and then ironing it all out for a very satisfying, if a little too neat, ending. I'd discuss my favorite parts, but I don't want to spoil the experience for anyone else. So go find a copy!